Read my Derby travelogue here.

The seventh city on my list is the South Yorkshire city of Doncaster 141 miles north of London. it is one of the youngest cities on my list having only been conferred city status last year as part of Queen Elizabeth’s II platinum jubilee. Doncaster has a simply etymology. It means a fort or castle built on the river Don on which the city was founded. In fact, the Romans built a fort here in 71AD. In 1194AD, King Richard I granted Doncaster a town charter.

My city trip started at 10.45 at King’s Cross Station. As I still had time before my 10.57 train, I decided to get some cannoli from the outside food market. I love this indulgent Sicilian treat. And I was able to buy four for eleven pounds. Very happy.

Anyway, I boarded my train and we departed promptly at 10.56. I was on the Grand Central Line and the leg room was incredible. Across the aisle sat this pregnant mother and her little boy. He kept asking his mum whether babies come out of her butt. And while his mother corrected him, she also said she wasn’t going to have this conversation with him right now. This did make me laugh a lot. The little boy was very sweet.

I arrived in Doncaster at 12.33.

First on my vague plan was lunch. Immediately outside the station was the Frenchgate shopping centre. I thought I could find lunch here, but I also saw signs advertising a market. Thinking I could find something more authentically Doncaster, I headed there while seeing some lovely street art along the way.

But I was disappointed to see that it was half-shut and thus half-empty. the only eatery available was a greasy spoon – Carol’s cafe where I bought bacon, egg, beans, bread and a can of coke for only £.3.90.

The international community regularly pokes fun at Britain’s bland and beige cuisine – a well-earned reputation. But when you’re cold, wet and hungry, bacon, egg and beans slap. Especially for £.3.90. That would be double the price in London. I stayed there until half one where a call of nature saw me returning to the Frenchgate shopping centre to find some toilets. Instead I found the food court, which had as I thought, plastic chains. I’m glad I went to Carol’s instead of a generic KFC or Burger King. I also saw some of the lovely art installations within the shopping centre.

I also stumbled upon the bus station where I found you had to pay to use the toilets. I don’t do that out of general principle, so instead I found the free toilets within the shopping centre. Afterwards I went to the Holland & Barrett in my quest to find the water infusions that I first bought in Chichester, but have been unable to find since. And, alas, my quest goes on. I think I’ll just have to return to Chichester.

Instead I left Frenchgate and went back onto the high street where I went to Savers and bought some lavender bath salts and fabric softener. Yes, I am a man, and I take lavender salt baths. Call me girly, I don’t care. It relaxes the shit out of me. After this I went to the city’s CEX, where I could buy some more films on the top 1000 films of all time – I am watching and reviewing all the films on this list. I bought Boogie Nights, True Grit (1969,) Taken, Babel and Twelve Monkeys. I’ve been looking for Twelve Monkeys for ages and I haven’t been able to find it.

I was also looking for Before Sunset, but was not able to find it. I adored its predecessor Before Sunrise, but I have yet to find its sequel.

At 2, I headed to Doncaster Minster. Doncaster isn’t a cathedral city, but its minster was the next best thing. And it was a very handsome building. The steward explained to me that it was less than two hundred years old; having been founded upon another church that had been burned down. Unfortunately, my photos aren’t great. You had to pay £ for a photo permit, so I had to take my pictures on the sly.

If you think I’m too cheap to pay for public toilets, you know I’m too cheap to pay for a photo permit. That’s the first time I’ve seen that in any church. Nonetheless the church was very pretty. Compared to the hustle and bustle of the high street, it was so quiet and peaceful.

At half two, I left the church and headed in the vague direction of the river Don, based on an earlier map I saw. As you know, I don’t plan these trips to any great degree. And this often means I go wrong. Instead of arriving at the river Don, I instead ended up by the Doncaster canal.

I continued along it, before I had quickly realised I had gone off the beaten track.

It took me away from the canal and to another river, which I will tentatively call the Don. But after only fifteen minutes, I was forced to turn around due to a locked gate. I headed the other way walking parallel to an old railway line. On one side and the river was on the other. But again I could only go so far before an active railway line forced me to turn back. It was so quiet here that I wondered if I was actually allowed to be there. It was so muddy and overgrown. But completely peaceful. There wasn’t another soul in sight.

At 3.15, I headed back into the city centre where I bought a couple bars of fudge – mint chocolate and rainbow from a fudge shop in the Frenchgate shopping centre. I shall see how this fudge compares to the fudge I bought in Canterbury.

It was nearing 4pm by this time. Despite the rainy weather, it was still warm, so I fancied a pint. I found the Black Bull pub where I bought a nice cool pint of Birra Morretti.

This pint was £4.85 which was about par for London. That was a bit of a gut-punch. I also saw the pub was serving beef and gravy in a giant Yorkshire pudding. If I wanted something authentically Yorkshire than a giant Yorkshire pudding would have been the way to go. Perhaps I could have had this for dinner, but I already had my eye on this little bistro I saw earlier.

And at five I headed there. I got some pre-cooked chicken strips and chips served out of gastro-trays for only a fiver. It was a little dry, but the chips were well-seasoned. In London, it doesn’t seem like anybody seasons their chips anymore. But next time I’m in Yorkshire, I definitely have to get the giant Yorkshire pudding.

At half five, I headed back to Doncaster station to get my 18.04 train back to London. Unfortunately this was cancelled due to a signalling failure, so I had to wait ten minutes until the next one. Not ideal, but considering I am using the trains, it was inevitable that this would happen sooner or later. This little blip aside I enjoyed my Doncaster trip. It wasn’t my favourite city, but I loved the serenity of Doncaster Minster. Ely. You’re next!