Summer’s almost over and you didn’t manage your trip to London. You’re sad you didn’t get get to go on the London Eye, see the Changing of the Guard or ride on one of the viral tuk-tuks. Don’t be. You missed out on some of the most overrated things to do in London. This is a list of some things you can skip out on your trip to London. Or not. It’s your life.

Notting Hill Carnival

By all intents and purposes, Notting Hill Carnival should be great. It started out as a celebration of London’s Afro-American community, but now it’s just an excuse for people to get drunk and make fools of themselves.

I went a few years ago. Never again. I was expecting a family-friendly, fun-filled day out. I thought I would marvel at the costumes and parades, dance to the music, play games and see lots of fun stalls.

There was none of that. In fact, there was nothing to do. No music. No stalls. No games. Just a sea of drunk people and the stench of weed. Okay, I did see the parade, but it was only a fleeting glimpse. Otherwise, I was navigating the labyrinth streets of Notting Hill, along with the rest of London. If that wasn’t bad enough, there was nowhere to go to the toilet either. And let’s not even get started on the multiple stabbings that happen every year.

London Eye

When you think of London, this over-sized Ferris wheel is probably the first thing that comes to mind. I’ve been on it a few times and it’s never lived up to the hype.

You’re paying almost £30 for a half-hour opportunity to see London. And it’s not even the best view you can get. Instead you can visit one of London’s many viewing platforms like Sky Garden, the Garden at 120 and Horizon 22. These are all free. You just need to get a ticket in advance.

Camden Market

It hurts my heart and soul to put Camden Market on this list. This used to be one of my favourite areas of London. I spent much of my adolescence eating and drinking my way through the market, but now the nostalgia and romanticism are wearing off.

Ten years ago, there was a fire that destroyed one part of the market. Things have never been the same since. Camden used to be the place where all the weird, alternative kids would don their corsets, doc martens and heavy eye-liner and go see the latest emo band at the Koko arena.

Now it’s just somewhere Yankee and euro tourists can get ripped off. Case in point, a pint of coke is £4, a Smash burger is £11 and a T-shirt is £20. That’s if you can fight your way through the ocean of tourists to reach the actual market.

The Changing of the Guard

But James, what’s wrong with this? I get to see some mounted cavalry trot alongside Buckingham Palace. Plus, it’s free to visit.

Unfortunately, a million other tourists have the same idea. You’ll be fighting through an ocean in the hopes of just getting a glimpse of the horses. If you care that much about Buckingham Palace and the monarchy, why not book a tour? Sure tickets are £30, but they last a year.

Afternoon Tea

The influencers love posting about afternoon tea and I don’t get it. It’s about the least authentically British thing you could ever do. What Brit will fork out £70 for a cup of tea, triangle sandwiches and some fancy cakes?

You could go to Tesco and get the same thing for a tenner. Tue, it won’t be instagrammable, but it also won’t cost you a month’s rent.

The British Museum

Let me tell you a joke that I’m sure you’ve heard before: I went to the British museum, but there wasn’t anything British in it.

I’m sure that once upon a time, the museum would have been interesting to visit, but it hasn’t modernised well. This is 2024. We’re well-past the point of staring at dusty exhibits in glass cases. The same could go for the Natural History Museum.

Not to mention both museums are massive with too much to see in one trip. A word of advice if you are going to visit, don’t do it during the school holidays. Just don’t.

Do visit some smaller and lesser-known museums like the Sir John Soane’s museum.

Tuk-Tuks

These have to be the biggest scam in London. In London’s biggest areas like Leicester Square, you’ll get groups of South-Asian men who have decked out tuk-tuks to be as Instagrammable as possible. I’m talking neon lights, fluffy pillows and 2000’s pop music. For £20, they’ll take you on a tour of London except when it’s time to pay they’re charging you £40 instead.

Avoid this tourist trap and instead hire out a bike or an electric scooter.

Fairgame

London has only gone and done it. They’ve gentrified a fun fair. For £15, you get to play some funfair games that you could play in any seaside town in the UK. Except that you can only play them once and you have to play them all within an hour. Not to mention the food and drink would be super-expensive too. Plus the music is so loud you can’t hear yourself think. That makes sense, right?

Just do yourself a favour and go to Brighton. You can play the same games there without the entrance fee.

Winter Wonderland

Who wouldn’t want to spend a muddy evening in the freezing cold Hyde Park? Not me. But I have. And never again. There was nothing wondrous about this wonderland. Not only do you have to pay to go in, but you pay for all the stalls too. And, as it’s London it is bloody expensive.

Oxford Street

Heaven for shopoholics? Hell more like. if you go here, you best make sure your pockets are deep, as it’s expensive. The same goes for the neighbouring Regent Street. It is also absolutely swarming with thousands of tourists just like you. All the shops are chains lacking any of the charm and personality of independent traders.

Instead, why not go charity shopping in one of London’s suburbs? I know some people are snobby about charity shops, but you can get some great bargains in there. After all, would you rather buy a Ralph Lauren shirt for £100 or £10?

Bear in mind, this is all my opinion and if you want to go to one of these places then be my guest. It’s your life. I can’t stop you. But if you’re looking for something a bit different, why not check out one of these hidden gems instead?