Read my Worcester travel logue here

Wolverhampton is a special city. Not only is it the 26th city on my list, but also the last city I will visit alphabetically. Now it is time to return to the final nine cities that I had previously skipped out due to cost, time or practicality: Bradford, Leicester, Plymouth, Preston, Ripon, Salford, Sunderland, Truro and Wells.

You will find Wolverhampton 128 miles northwest of London. It is one of the youngest cities in the West Midlands having only achieved city status in 2000 as part of the millennium celebrations. it is named after its founder Lady Wulfrun – that’s where the “wolver” comes from. ham and ton are old words meaning home so literally it means the homestead of Wulfrun.

My journey there began at 9.56 where I caught the London Northwestern train from London Euston. Just like Worcester, boarding started long before the train actually left and I was easily able to get a seat. Although can we just take a minute to talk about Northampton? Why does the train take, what the driver called, a dwell period there? We were sat there for fifteen minutes. It was the same as Worcester. All very annoying.

Otherwise the journey was smooth with me having plenty of time to make my connection at Birmingham New Street. Evidently, I had not learned my lesson from Hereford, Stoke or Worcester where my connecting trains were cancelled. However, I appeared to have more luck here.

I arrived in Wolverhampton at 12.54.

Wolverhampton is not a cathedral city so there was no over-sized church for me to visit. But there were lots of smaller churches that I saw from the train. These would be my first stop, but en route, I saw a confusing street sign that told me I was in Lichfield.

Nice try. I’ve always visited Lichfield. I ate £5 fish and chips there. At least there were no roadworks littering the station concourse which already elevated Wolverhampton over Gloucester. I also made note of the city’s Wetherspoons and a dhosa restaurant which I could return to for lunch.

Anyway, at 1,10, I arrived at St Peter’s Church. A statue of Lady Wulfrun herself stood outside the church.

St Peter’s Church had everything you would expect from a good church. Volunteers to help you answer questions, a book exchange, gift shop and a gorgeous chancel. It also had some interesting information saying that St Peter’s Church was the oldest building in Wolverhampton going all the way back to the 11th century.

I left the church at 1.30, which is when I spotted signs for the Wolverhampton Art Gallery. Instead, I found a Catholic Church that was closed to the public. Eventually, I did find the art gallery which was naturally five minutes away from St Peter’s. As always, I went in the complete wrong direction.

I’ve always enjoyed the thought of going to art galleries than actually going to them. I love the idea of being all cultured and refined, but when I’m there I say that’s a nice picture, next! This art gallery was no exception. Yes, there were interesting galleries on pop art and Georgia art, but I am also too uncultured to truly understand or appreciate the art.

It has to be truly straightforward like Hrair Sarkissian’s special photographic exhibition displaying massive photos of the Japanese Aokighara Forest. It was complete with red ribbons that represented the real-life ropes that Japanese tie to trees to stop themselves from getting lost. The exhibition also had a nature soundtrack which was calming. I also enjoyed how the gallery had its own studio space to encourage budding artists. Plus, there was a model King Kong.

By 2, my stomach was calling out like a whale trying to find a mate, so it was time to find lunch. Instead, I kept getting sidetracked by various churches and charity shops. Firstly, there was St George’s, then St Mary’s and finally St John’s, but they were all closed.

However, I was able to find the city’s CEX where I bought Dogville and the Chorus. Dogville has proven to be a difficult film to track down, so I’m glad I finally found a copy. I also found a pair of 34R Ted Baker jeans in a charity shop for £5.50. yes, that was more expensive than what they were on sale for in Wakefield, but thank you to the man who donated them. Men. This is how we uplift each other.

By now it was approaching 4pm and the streets were quickly entering. I somehow found myself back at the dhosa restaurant from earlier. I bought a chickpea and spinach dhosa for £9.

I was so tempted to get a mango lassi, but they were steep at £5. The first time I ever had dhosa was during my trip to Milton Keynes. Ever since, I’ve been chasing that high. Wolverhampton’s dhosa was good, but not on a Milton Keynes level. I need to go back there some time and get another fix.

By now it was nearing 4.30, so it was time for my nature walk. The Birmingham Main Line Canal flowed right past the station, so that seemed like a great place to start. Along my walk, I saw many things like abandoned warehouses that once served the canal workers, a submerged boat, Peaky Blinders graffiti, a big pile of rubbish and a Wolverhamptonian father who warned me against this supposedly vicious flock of geese.

The geese were with their goslings which might have explained their overprotective nature, but they allowed me to pass unscathed I continued along the canal until 5, which is when I crossed the river and headed back the other way. I’ve been to Birmingham multiple times, so I didn’t need to walk the fourteen mile length of the canal there. Especially not on a hot, sticky day like yesterday.

I arrived back at Wolverhampton at 5.30 and instead of immediately going to the station, I walked the other direction along the canal.

As you can, this was far more pleasant with no decaying warehouses or piles of rubbish. Alas, I couldn’t walk along here for long before I needed to pick up my TGTG bag for dinner.

From the station’s gourmet cafe, I received a tuna melt, bacon roll, croissant, pain au chocolat and pain aux raisins for £4 instead of £12.

At 6.28, it was time to go home via Birmingham. Unlike Worcester, my train arrived on time! And I was able to get my connecting train to London Euston just fine, minus the annoying dwell period at Northampton.

I was worried that my buying connecting tickets, because of their cheap price, would once again backfire on me. But everything was just dandy. It pays to be a cheapskate at times.

That wraps up my Wolverhampton train. Definitely not the worse Midlands city I’ve visited, but it’s a shame the churches weren’t open and it only had half the amount of charity shops as Worcester had. It was a day of gorillas, Peaky Blinders and a flock of vicious geese. Bradford! You’re next! Maybe. Depends on price.