*Based on a true story. Happy International men’s day to the men who are struggling, just getting by and the men who use IWD as an excuse to complain about there being no IMD. It’s today. November 19th. If you cared that much, you would know.*

A few months ago I was on the last train home,

we were stopped for over half an hour just outside London

Why?

A suicidal male was on track

without fail, every single male on the train

moaned, groaned, swore and cussed him out

me?

By and large, I was leading the charge.

But maybe that man wanted to end it all

as he had nobody to call

It got me thinking of some questions I need to ask men

How do we expect women to advocate for us when we can’t advocate for ourselves?

How do we expect women to show up for us when we can’t show up for ourselves?

When your brother reaches out his hand, do you grab it close or slap it away?

When your brother hurts, do you hold space? Look him in the face?

In the eye? Do you lie? Say it will all be okay?

I’ll help you another day.

But this isn’t a problem that will go away

unless we show each other compassion

take action

don’t divide into factions

Men vs women. Us vs them.

No projecting

no rejecting our strongest allies

The women who show up for men when we need them most

Do we do the same?

Was it men who protested Sarah Everard’s murder? Or women?

Or did we men just say: it’s not all men?

Because the male loneliness epidemic

is endemic of how we can’t talk to each other

because the moment there’s some vulnerability,

we lose the ability to listen and to speak

But maybe if we had more conversation,

there would be less isolation

perhaps if there was more collaboration

there would be less alienation

And we can start by sharing our stories

our glories

our sorrow, our grief

being there for all our friends

men and women

come rain for shine

As for me? I’m a pioneer? A visionary? A revolutionary?

Fighting the good fights? Shouting for men’s rights?

Beating my chest? Going on every single protest?

No. I’m the world’s biggest hypocrite

Completely full of shit

Maybe it’s time for me. For us. To do better.

Maybe it’s time for us to make a change.