The Geordie Shore of Geordie Shores

What strange things happen in a mansion of eight,

Our fair lady Holly has fled and has left her gallant in a wretched state.

Aaron, a man of the gentry in both appearance and tongue,

Has woken up this morn and enquires solemnly “what is wrong?”

Upon which this noble youth, with a gallant motion,

Seizes the filled reservatory and causes commotion.

They talk of the most divine truth

Holly’s chastity has been taken by the man with the split hoof

Now in her belly a child lay

All of us talk about it day after day

Forget the glorious revolution,

Whilst the world focuses on this child’s evolution

With bated breath, the world doth watch

Completely obsessed with Holly’s crotch

This is theatre enthralling and divine

For Socrates would drink his poisoned wine

If he ever saw how his work had doth turned from the sublime

For Sophocles, Euripedes, Aeshylus we no longer have the time,

Now all theatrical merit and attention turns towards the Tyne.


*Author’s Notes*

This is a poem that I wrote with my Ways of the World study group: Emma, Tim and Tom.  We were studying 18th century Burlesque.  During this time, to “burlesque” something meant to criticise an established genre by exposing and highlights all of its flaws.  An example we studied is Henry Fielding’s “Tom Thumb or the Tragedy of Tragedies,” where Fielding burlesques the genre of tragedy.  As a study group task, we were told that we could burlesque any modern-day established genre and we decided to parody reality television and more specifically Geordie Shore, as we all attend Newcastle University.  Emma helped to kick us off by watching an episode of Geordie Shore and transcribing what she saw and then as a group we watched the rest.  It was a lot of fun writing this and I enjoyed it a lot.

If you are familiar with 18th century Burlesque or Henry Fielding then this would make more sense to you.  If not, hopefully you can still enjoy it for what it is.

Geordie shore is a reality television show about Newcastle-Upon-Tyne.

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