Read my Lancaster travel logue here

In May 2023 I set off on a goal to visit the 35 English cities I had never been before.

Just over 3 years later I am finishing that goal by visiting Plymouth. In those 3 years, I’ve gone from Sunderland to Southampton, from Winchester to Wolverhampton, from Lancaster to Lichfield. I’ve fed ducks in Salford,

petted cows in Worcester,

drank cider in Hereford,

learned about Pakistani culture in Bradford,

ate pierogi in Chester

and did outdoor climbing in Stoke

I’ve seen some beautiful parts of England like Milton Keynes Campbell park (I LIKED MILTON KEYNES. DON’T @ ME)

and some not so beautiful parts like Southend. But I’ve also learned so much about this country and its history from the etymology of its city names to the industries that became the engine which had once turned this country into an industrial powerhouse – as well as seeing the devastating effects of deindustrialisation like in Doncaster or Wakefield. It’s been one hell of a journey with its fair share of ups and downs. I’ve finally reached the end. 

Let’s break down my final city: Plymouth which you will find 193 Miles south west of London. Its etymology is simple enough. The mouth refers to the start of the river Plym where there has been some type of settlement since before the Romans. Plymouth is a port city and has a rich maritime history sometimes referred to as Britain’s Ocean city.

As previously implied, Plymouth is a fair old distance from London so I had to catch an early 8.03 train from Paddington. Luckily I had time to get a meal deal breakfast from Sainsbury’s. 

Eating this gave me something to do on the very long three hour train journey. But I also slept. Thankfully I woke up in time to see the gorgeous sea views.

The last time I did this journey was when I went to Truro in the winter so naturally it was too dark to see anything. 

At 11.15 I arrived in Plymouth excited to finally visit my final city. It helped it was also spectacular weather. Blue skies and 35 degree heat. Quite incredible for May. Plus thanks to my late breakfast earlier, I wasn’t starving hungry coming into Plymouth. 

The station is on the outskirts of the city so I had to go past these strange models

but it was worth it to see this bakery that made me laugh. Office fans will know what I mean: oggy oggy oggy, oink oink oink. Gareth when you’re on the phone can you keep the pig impressions to a minimum?

Yes I know the Office ended two decades ago but I am twenty years behind the times. I quickly learned that like Stoke or Gloucester, the city centre was full of regeneration works which made it a bit difficult to navigate, but I’m sure will also make the city look lovely. Unlike Stoke or Gloucester…there is only so much lipstick you can put on a pig. Sorry Stokians. You are a lovely people but your city is less than appealing.

As is tradition, my first stop was going to be the city’s cathedral but as is also tradition, I soon became sidetracked by all the charity shops. In a cat protection one, I bought no less than six dvds: Pi, Eraserhead, Nil by Mouth, the Hurricane, Punch Drunk Love and the Assassination of Jesse James. The cashier was very complimentary of my choices especially of the brutally violent Nil by Mouth. 

From here it was onto St Mary’s and St Boniface cathedral

I have to admit it was a little unimpressive. Obviously not every cathedral can live up to the majestic Canterbury, but it was still lacking. Insert pictures. At least it was open, unlike the nearby St Peter’s Church.

From here I navigated back to the city centre via Victoria park and a funny sign.

Where does Penny have to go to? And why quickly? 

Now it was lunchtime, I found Plymouth’s indoor market with plenty of food options: british fried food, fish and chips, Thai, Japanese, Brazilian, Vietmamese, Syrian. In the end I opted for Syrian. You might be asking “James” you’re by Britain’s ocean city. Why not get fresh fish and chips? I had fish and chips in Portsmouth, Lichfield, Southampton and Southend, but I have never had Syrian food. For £9.50 I bought Tabbouleh salad, chicken mahmousk (?) rolls and rose water.

It also had lots of other stalls selling all kinds of oddities and paraphenalia. There was even a second hand dvd stall which at £3 was too expensive for me. Especially after those charity shops. 

Now it was time to find the seafront. I was expecting a sandy beach. Instead I found Hoe Park complete with war memorial, lighthouse and ferris wheel on the edge of a cliff that overlooked the sea front.

Although there wasn’t a beach, you just had to follow the path to the water and swim in the sea or sunbathe on the rocks. I do not swim well so I was happy to stay in the park. Like I said, it was a scorcher so it was perfect weather for a picnic.

As for the food? Meh. Could have been more filling but then again I could have paid more money. The iced rosewater juice was very refreshing in the hot weather though.

On the advice of a former local, my next stop would be the Barbican. It was time to go left along the seafront: the blue sea to my right and the Plymouth citadel and artillery base to my left. And of course there were so many people swimming in the sea. Not including me obviously.

Obviously I stopped for a refreshing rainbow ice cream, similar to St Alban’s. I have a strong suspicion I am lactose intolerant so internet, I am trusting you to keep this secret.

I was slowly heading downhill at this point. At half 2 I had reached Sutton Harbour

and the realisation that the Barbican is not a castle, like I had first thought, but a neighbourhood. It was the neighbourhood where the Mayflower ship launched from taking the first pilgrim settlers to the US. 

The harbour was also home to an aquarium but £26 was too steep a price for me to pay. I could have gone to the far cheaper £6 Mayflower museum but it was too nice a day to spend inside a museum.

Instead, I meandered back to Hoe Park where it was now 3pm and my arm was starting to burn. After 3 or 4 hours in the sun, I finally had the bright idea to buy some sun cream. Time to turn right along the sea front past the Hoe Lido.

I eventually found a pharmacy but alas they did not have sun cream. Back to Hoe Park I went, but first I had time for some delightfully soggy fries! I also saw plenty of cliff jumping or according to the 13 year old boys jumping-from-the-roof-of-the-local-shop. It was covered in enough rusty razor wire to make even Jigsaw wince but that wasn’t enough to deter them.

At 4pm I was back sunbathing in Hoe Park. Or burning rather. It was time to hunt down some suncream in the city centre. Savers didn’t let me down. There I got sun cream, sanitiser, a cool down spray (is it just a gimmick or does it work) and, most importantly in this weather, water. I drank that faster than a thirsty man in the desert. 

I also had a nosey in a couple more charity shops but alas I could not find my target film: Coraline. I could have bought it for a fiver in CEX, but I had paid 50p for those other DVDs. No way could I pay a fiver.

Especially when I needed to buy dinner for the journey home. Except it was now half 4 and not only was the market closed but so was the OGGY OGGY OGGY OINK OINK OINK bakery. The TGTG options were none too desirable either. That portion of chips wasn’t going to be enough to last me until London. Whatever was I going to do?

Suck it up and deal with it basically. I would eat back in London. If you don’t think that makes sense that’s because it doesn’t. But it also doesn’t make sense to visit thirty-five cities in three years.

At 5pm I returned to nowhere else than Hoe Park to catch some more rays as our transatlantic cousins would say and at half 5 it was time to go back home. My train was coming at 18.16 and I would be back in London three hours later. Stay strong stomach. You can do it.

I think I had picked the best possible time to have gone to Plymouth. It wouldn’t have been much fun coming here on a cold and wet winter’s day. The food could have been more filling but the scenery was incredible. Maybe I have finally found a match for Chester’s river Dee. And that brings my final city and mission to an end. It was a day of cliff jumping, soggy fries and OGGY OGGY OGGY OINK OINK OINK 

What’s next you may wonder?

A) a day trip to brussels?

B) a week in scotland visiting every scottish city

C) Flying to Northern Ireland

D) finally returning to Milton Keynes and eating, quite possibly, the best Dhosa outside of India again?

You can use 50/50. Ask the audience. Phone a friend? What is your answer? D? Well done. You’ve just lost all your money. The real answer is secret answer E: I’m going to take a long rest. I don’t think I will be attempting another mission of this magnitude anytime soon. Now I only have one journey left to make. And that’s the journey to my bed. Thank you and good night.